Leaving
by BloodyMarry
Summary: Lex was leaving again. But Clark would never go. A sad, little Christmas Oneshot. ClarkxLex Dedicated to my best friend, Kelly. Warning, small amounts of cursing.


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Leaving

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"You can't keep pushing me away, Lex. You know it's not going to work, I won't give up," the slightly shorter of the two men standing in the large and empty parking lot shook his head.

"I can push all I want Clark, haven't you heard, I'm a Luthor," Lex saw the muscles in Clark's jaw clench, he glanced down quickly and noticed his hands were balled into fists.

"You want to hit me?" he said in a monotone voice.

"I want to kiss you, Lex. No matter how stupid it sounds, it's the truth. _Please_, don't do this," Clark's voice sounded pained, and on the verge of desperation. Lex didn't flinch, he wouldn't, he couldn't let Clark know that he was getting to him.

"I've made up my mind, Clark. You can't change it. I'm leaving, and if you come after me, I'll be done with you," Lex took a step back and Clark took one forward. "Don't," his voice grew stronger as his will began to break. Why wouldn't Clark just listen? He wasn't doing this to hurt him.

"Why not? Why should I just let you leave, when I know you want to be right here with me," Lex's head dropped a little and he took a moment to look down at his shoes, when he looked back up at Clark he gave what he knew looked like a smirk, but was more a small half-smile.

"I don't want to be here, Clark. I want to go home, be with my _wife_," Clark visibly flinched at the mention of Lana.

"Lex..."

"Good bye, Clark," his voice was final, and loud enough to where it left an echo that was followed shortly by clicking of Lex's heels on the concrete below them. Clark closed his eyes, not able to look as Lex walked away. He heard the man's car start and then pull out. As always he was driving too fast, he was going to get himself into real trouble doing that one day, Clark thought with a pang.

They'd first met on just one of those occasions, Lex had crashed his little sports car into him. Funny how that something like that could lead to love. A love, that lead to Lex leaving.

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"Clark, you're really leaving?" he turned with a sad sort of smile on his face, he moved forward and came to hug his mother. He held her like that for a long time, not wanting to move away, she was his only comfort now, and he was leaving her. His home, his family. But he had to go, he couldn't stay here anymore. It was just...

"Please, Clark..." Clark remembered a conversation much like this one, that had happened over less than a week ago. He'd have to act like Lex had, act like he was fine, like he didn't care. He pulled back from the hug and pressed a firm, yet gentle kiss on his mother's temple.

"I'll call-"

"Every night?" She finished. Clark laughed a small and almost too quiet laugh.

"Yeah, I'll try," he lifted his last suitcase into his father's old truck and reached over to give his mother one last hug.

"I love you, Clark. Take care of yourself, don't forget to eat three meals a day! And get your clothes dry-cleaned..._often_!" Clark smiled a sad smile, sending it his mother's way as he got into the truck and closed the door after himself.

"I love you, mom," he saw her teeth worrying her bottom lip and he had to stop himself from getting out of the car again and going to comfort her.

"Can you write, too?" Clark gave a nod of his head and tried his best to force a smile for her sake.

"I love you," he said in a sort of final way, she just stood there as he cranked his car. For a second he couldn't believe that he was leaving her the way that Lex had left him. But he shook it off, he couldn't stay here, not anymore. Not until he'd gotten his life back, his... Not until he got Lex back.

"Bye," he put his foot on the petal gently and buckled himself up with his free hand, and out of the rearview mirror he saw her waving one last time, he couldn't help but think, that leaving her was one of the hardest things he'd ever have to do.

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_Dearest Lex,_

_I'm sorry, I... I just can't stay here anymore. I can't keep pretending like this. I don't mean to make your life harder, or to hurt you. But staying here... It's killing me. I know that I can't ever come back after this, and I know that I only cause trouble for you, but believe me I never meant to. I understand if you can't ever speak to me again, but I can't stay. I'm sorry, Lex._

_-Lana __**Lang**_

Lex dropped the letter, and with it her rings; what now laid in clear view were the papers. Not ones with her neat and curvy hand writing. No. Divorce papers. She was leaving him. Leaving... _Him_.

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Going on without her hurt, but what hurt the most was knowing that he'd left Clark for her. He of course had never admitted to Clark what he felt, but Clark had to have known. Knowing what could have been had he stayed with the other man left a pain in his heart that not even alcohol could cure. He gently fingered the ring he'd given to Clark so long ago, he'd taken it back before he'd left. He didn't know why now.

Not a minute of the day went by where he didn't think about what he'd gotten himself into, he'd been so close to Clark, so close to having something close to perfect... God, it was driving him insane. He angrily threw the bottle of vodka against the nearest wall, loving the crashing sounds it made and the sizzle of the fire as the alcohol hit it.

He didn't know it and he wouldn't but there were smears of liquid on his face, he wiped it away, thinking it was only the vodka. He wouldn't ever find out that he'd cried.

He walked furiously to the door to his new Metropolis apartment and grabbed his long black jacket, one he wore more often than not.

His boots crunched over the broken glass, the distraction was welcomed as he thought that he'd have to get that cleaned up, it helped for at least a moment to push away those thoughts that had him feeling so damn empty. With dull, and terribly blank grey eyes he left his apartment. He'd leave the wreckage of his home life behind him, and forget if only for a few hours, his stupidity in destroying the only real love he'd ever have.

He didn't bother to go to his car, he didn't want to drive, easier to get lost if he didn't have some stupid navigation system yelling out orders to him. In his madness, he thrived on the thought that maybe something would grab him, take him away from all this and send him somewhere that these stabbing pains couldn't reach.

Though it was only his way back, from the strip club, absolutely drunk and short about three hundred dollars, that his wish came true. He knew he was dangerously close to the Suicide Slums of Metropolis, and even in his drunken state he knew it was dangerous, but he couldn't bring himself to care. It would be his momentary downfall.

Lex screamed as he felt his arm jerked back and he was pushed against a brick wall, his head hit hard enough to leave his head spinning . He felt an oddly warm liquid creeping down his neck. He was bleeding. Thin, cold steel was pressed to his neck and he felt himself choking around it, there was a small trickle of blood now, he shouldn't have moved.

The thought that what he'd wanted was happening had Lex's mouth opening in a twisted smile, he laughed, it was a sick and bitter laugh. Had anyone who'd previously loved this man's lost soul, heard the terrifying laughing, would have cried for him.

"Money!" The man's accent was thick, sounded sort of like Russian. Lex lifted his arms and the man jerked the knife, cutting him just a little bit more.

"No money!" He seemed to be mocking the man's voice, and the mugger knew it, his hand grabbed onto Lex's jacket and he lifted him off of the wall only to push him more violently back onto it. Lex coughed at the searing pain on his neck, but he continued with his drunken idiocy, "I spent all of it at the strip club! Let's go get it!"

The man's nostrils flared, Lex knew he shouldn't be playing with him, but he couldn't stop himself. It was as if he wasn't himself, just another person standing away and watching this train wreck with mild interest.

"You die," Lex laughed loudly this time, his voice was rough and sounded much like it had moments before when he'd laughed at the man.

"I'm already dead. Merry _fucking _Christmas," the mugger hissed, and Lex caught a whiff of his breath, he mockingly made a face and pretended to choke. But the man had had enough, he pulled back the knife, and as a final warning moved Lex's face to see where it was pointing. Lex's stomach.

Before Lex had a chance to reply to the threat, he felt it. The metal sliding through his gut, the cold and unforgiving blade sliding right in as if it belonged there. Only it didn't. The man saw what he'd done, looked down at his hand and then dropped the knife, he reached into Lex's pockets as the dying man slid further down on the brick wall.

He took out Lex's wallet and the gold ring off of his ring finger. He looked briefly and noticed that it said Clark on the inside, he hadn't wanted to know the name of the man he'd killed, but he didn't care now. The man was leaving now, there was no one he could tell. He'd be dead within moments.

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He lifted himself off of the ground, and looked down at the woman he'd helped, she gave him a smile and he tried to give her a smile back but he couldn't seem to force it. It had been months now, and he hadn't seen Lex, hadn't heard a word from him.

His heart beat seemed to slow, as if it just wanted to die, but Clark couldn't let it. He still had a world to save. He could die after that. He ignored the voice that said the world would always need saving, and he'd live for hundreds of years.

Clark flew above the crime ridden streets, mostly known as the Suicide Slums, he remembered briefly that Lex's father had lived and grown up here. Well he'd certainly gotten out and made something of himself, though the crime and evil that had been instilled inside him had not left, and never truly would.

The young man scratched at his red T-shirt, he hadn't gotten it washed, not many of his clothes had gotten to the cleaners. He felt guilty for a moment that he hadn't listened to his mother. His thoughts though were cut off though, when he heard a scream, he looked down and pushed some of his hair out of his eyes so he could see better. When he could see better though his eyes caught sight of a young woman leaning over a body on the ground leaning heavily on the wall behind him.

Clark was quick to move, he got down there in almost no time, and the woman, afraid, ran. He tried to call after her, to tell her it was okay now, but she just kept running. Clark thought about going after her, but a terrible smell caught his attention, blood. He turned around and saw the man again against the wall, he was covered in some snow but not much. But what scared Clark the most was the snow was red.

He crouched down next to the body and brushed snow off of the top of the man's head and off of his shoulders, he slowly lifted the man's face, dread creeping into his every bones. The face that met his, the dull and dead eyes that stared into his own, left his heart to drop, and his mind to slip in and out of what seemed to be this reality.

There weren't words for it, there would never be, he couldn't breath, he couldn't see, he felt so numb, and so cold at the same time. His rough hands moved to wipe away the blood on Lex's face, to try and wake him up.

"No, Lex, get up. You're okay now, I'm here," when the man didn't reply, Clark let out a sort of dry sob, his hands moved to either side of Lex's face and he turned it to look directly into his own scared green ones.

"Lex..." he leaned forward and out his ear to the man's mouth, trying to hear if he was breathing, he wasn't. Clark felt something hot and wet on his face but he ignored it, "Lex! Stop it! Wake up, Lex!" He lifted the man with ease that came only from his powers, and pulled him into his lap, only his legs seemed to fail him and he fell into the pool of melting snow and blood. He pulled Lex to his chest and moved his head back, his eyes seemed to close and Clark knew he was leaving, that he was finally leaving him.

"Don't!" Clark moved and got Lex to lie flat on his back, his cold body didn't respond to being moved, but Clark didn't care. He moved Lex's head back and he opened his mouth, ignoring the dried blood on his lips Clark moved to push his own air into Lex's lungs.

His hands worked quickly to push against Lex's chest, he continued this for so long that his hands were numb, "Don't!" he cried again. He heard a coughing noise and he looked down with wide and frightened eyes.

"...Why?" The man under him croaked, more blood seemed to come with the one word, but he was there. He hadn't left, he was still here.

"I need you," Clark said his voice cracking with emotion, and moving to pull Lex to him, their faces were close now their lips were almost touching.

"I love you," Clark said, his breath tickling Lex's face. Lex tried to shake his head, but Clark had a strong hold on it.

"He stole it," Lex said beginning to cough once again. Clark blinked back his tears and shook his own head not understanding.

"He stole our ring," Clark didn't even bother to look down at Lex's hand.

"It's alright we'll get another one," Lex closed his eyes and Clark heard his wheezing breath.

"Please, don't go, Lex. I've got to get you to a hosp-" Lex moved his head forward and their lips collided, Clark didn't care that his lips were cold, that they were cracked and covered in dried blood, he kissed Lex back like he'd never kissed him before.

When he moved his mouth away, he tried to pull Lex back up to get them out of there, and when he had the man in his arms and he was standing again he looked down at his face. And there was nothing. His eyes were closed, his mouth was closed, and he wasn't breathing.

Clark felt his breath leave him, he knew sharing with Lex wouldn't help this time, he hardly had any left as it was. Clark felt his legs, once thought to be so strong, fail. He dropped back onto his knees, and he clutched Lex to his chest.

"Don't," he felt a sob leave with the word, and he couldn't stop himself from crying, "Don't leave."

But he was too late, Lex had already gone. But Clark would never leave, he would always be with Lex.

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The End.

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**A/N: **I can't believe I wrote something this sad on Christmas Eve-Eve. This story is for you Kelly, I love you girl. Peace.

-Marry


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